Blathering and a bit o bad time venting

I’m going to write and not stop for a while, so if ideas seem disconnected and strange, well, I don’t care.

I seem to keep thinking that theres a type of person that I desperately want to surround myself with but I can’t find them. So many times I’m kicking around the house, which I swear has lethargy-spray all over it, I feel so strangely alone. There are no friends I can just ring and say “Bro, whats up? Lets kick back and do nothing.” Well, lets just say theres a few groups of people.

Group one is full of people who can’t because they’re married/in a relationship and spend all their time working on those things.

Group two is full of lovely but intense people that I could have some yarns with but they’d probably not join me in having a beer or I know would be uncomfortable with some of the grottiness I can blather.

Group four are people I like but don’t know so well and they’re the “doing” types, fun but not really comfortable with scaling intellectual heights (not that they are ill-equipped).

Group five are people who aren’t in the city.

Group six are people I don’t know very well but are pretty cool but I think would be shocked at my take on things and my propensity to swear occasionally and talk about sex.

Group seven is full of amazing wonderful people that I find fascinating, whom I can talk bollocks or go insanely deep and intellectual with, who do insane stuff and have wonderful stories.

Bear in mind I seem to know most of Christchurch at the moment, but I think I know three of group seven, and I’m getting a little wary of wearing them out.

I think I’ve just got itchy feet, I desperately want to travel the world and see crazy things, walk the shores of galilee, meet weird amazing people, and have crazy stories to tell and come back with a crazy, fascinating and gorgeous texan/irish woman on my arm . I guess I’m unsatisfied with the relationships I have with people at the moment. The people that make me think are usually older and at a bar. I had the best yarns with a dude and his wife after a gig at the civic. It was the best conversation I’d had in such a long time, firstly talking about abraham and the problem of sacrificing issac with the dude, and then the concept that we lump everyone into a group, stereotype them, then hate them, when individually they’re lovely people (specifically refering to muslim peeps) with his wife. I relished that, it was the best yarns I’ve had in such a long time. They were a few years older than me. Is it just life experience on their behalf? How come i can connect intellectually with these people, yet can’t find anyone else around me? I mean, I know some very switched on, opinionated people but no one is triggering that stuff off in me, it feels like my brain is idling. My dad is awesome, we can have some good yarns about interesting, biblical, relevant,socially impacting & heavy stuff which I LOVE but I fear I wear him out sometimes.

I’m dying to move out.

No $.

I have such trouble trying to line up what the bible says I’m to do with my life.

I think I need counselling actually.

What did I do today to further the kingdom of God?

I think thats a very relevant question to ask each day.

Also, I do find it strange that we associate people with economic terms.

Priceless. Valued. Worthless.

Thats it,

I’m listening to journey.

“…Just a city boy, born and raised in south detroit, took a midnight train goin’ anywhere…….”

~ by tdub on January 9, 2007.